Reply to Poll for wives who don't have regular sex with their spouse..

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm curious about the points below:

What makes you unattracted to your spouse?

Are you still attracted to and turned on by other men (cute doctor, guy at the gym etc) or is that part of your brain just switched off entirely?

What would you say is the main reason (relationship or otherwise) that you and your spouse are not sexually active?

Do you still take care of your own needs? (Masturbation)[/quote]

I was not attracted to my ex-husband for a variety of reasons. He was attractive, but often the way he treated me made me feel very insecure. He was critical about my weight and appearance - in what he believed was a helpful way - pre- and post-baby. When we got together, I was 5'7" and 140 pounds; when we married, same height, 145 pounds; gained 30 pounds with the baby and struggled to lose the last 10). It made me very insecure about being naked around him, and it was difficult to feel aroused when I was worried that he was judging/repulsed/whatever. I wouldn't say that I was attracted to other men during this time. I certainly noticed attractive men, but not in a fantasy sort of way. I didn't think about having sex with other people. I didn't think about having sex at all. Didn't masturbate either.

I will say that having a child was a hell of a dodge for me. It gave me something else to think about than the sorry state of my relationship with someone who I was supposed to be in love with. If I worried about the state of my marriage, it was easy to say, well, we have a baby together, and that's a hard time in life. Later, when we divorced, he told me that he just thought that things would get better. I guess he maybe missed the times when we had serious conversations about how the way he was acting was affecting me.[/quote]

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