Reply to Teen robbed, kidnapped and sexually abused on Red Line in Bethesda & Friendship Hts

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I'm a weird parent.  I've told my DD to NEVER go with someone willingly, even if they have a weapon, esp if she is someplace where there is a crowd.  She is to fight,scream, run and cause attention.  The thought of someone taking her, then torture,rape, etc etc is too much, and I want her body found.  The potential emotional, psychological scars is too great.  Also, I've ensured Mom, House is no where listed in her phone contacts and she deletes all my text messages. I've told her that even if someone tells her I would be hurt she is to NEVER NEVER go.  I do hope the teen will be fine eventually.[/quote]

You aren't wrong.

Never willingly allow yourself to be taken to a secondary crime scene. Your odds of surviving or of not being hurt drop dramatically.

Read "the gift of fear"[/quote]

Oh, right.  That would have been so helpful.  Maybe this poor boy could have hit his attacker over the head with his copy.

You really suck.[/quote]

There is no point in second guessing what this kid could have done. None of us know how we would react if we were in his position.

[b]That doesn't make the point any less valid. If at all possible do not go to a second location. Fight your fight on the spot.
[/b]
-NP[/quote]

This isn't really the thread for that discussion, that should be saved for discussions on what you should teach your kids about safety. In this thread statements like  PPS  made amount to nothing but blaming the victim.[/quote]

Um, ok self-appointed "Thread Police".  I'm not the PP you're referring to, but as someone who worked in child welfare for a very long time and worked with actual abuse victims and sometimes the abusers, I never ever ever pass up a chance on a thread about something awful like this to share prevention knowledge.

The fact that you see tips on how to possibly avoid something like this as victim-blaming is bizarre and insane to me.  Most people don't know this advice about not going to a secondary location. It has and will continue to save lives when people remember and can act on it.  But IF YOU NEVER KNEW IN THE FIRST PLACE, well then what are the odds you'll be able to ever use the knowledge you never got?

I don't see anyone as blaming this poor kid for what happened.  And maybe I missed it, but I also didn't see anyone say "This will NEVER happen to my child", just "I always tell my child to NEVER...".  That is NOT the same as blaming the victim.  That is saying what you do, and sharing it in hopes it might help someone else.

At the end of the day though, even with not going to a secondary location, you never know if your assailant is one of hte crazy ones who just doesn't care, like the nuts on the metro who have assaulted strangers on crowded trains.  Doesn't get much more public than that, so if that person says go down an alley and you don't go, they may still do whatever they were going to do.

No one can blame the boy in the original article, and no one should.  It's awful and shouldn't happen to anyone.  But yelling at people who offer actual good advice on what to do if it happens to you, in case you might actually be able to use it or pass it on, is just bizarre and actually does NOTHING to help prevent it the next time for someone else.[/quote]

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