Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems pretty clear that the Metro has become a free-for-all zone for all manners of criminals. What on earth are Metro and MPD doing about this?! Why are there no officers patrolling the trains?! Mind-boggling.
I am so sorry for that poor kid.

What does MPD have to do with this. This is a MOCO crime. Your question should read, what is Metro and MOCO police doing?

The Chevy Chase Pavillion, where the sexual abuse occurred, is in the District of Columbia.

The Van Ness metro station, where this perpetrator robbed a 2nd person after the CC Pavillion crime, is also in the District of Columbia.

The gunpoint occurred at the Bethesda, Md train station. He forced the victim to board the southbound train entering DC.

Yep. And then additional crimes occurred in DC, the jurisdiction of MPD.

Anonymous wrote:NOT sending my kid on Metro alone.

No hell no

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems pretty clear that the Metro has become a free-for-all zone for all manners of criminals. What on earth are Metro and MPD doing about this?! Why are there no officers patrolling the trains?! Mind-boggling.
I am so sorry for that poor kid.

What does MPD have to do with this. This is a MOCO crime. Your question should read, what is Metro and MOCO police doing?

WMATA police have the exclusive jurisdiction in this case and all others that occur on Metro property. MCPD officers do not ride on trains.

In order to effectively patrol a eight car train there would need to be two officers per train. Two x 100 trains running at any given time plus an officer at each station would add up to about 240 officers on duty at any given time which is impossible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems pretty clear that the Metro has become a free-for-all zone for all manners of criminals. What on earth are Metro and MPD doing about this?! Why are there no officers patrolling the trains?! Mind-boggling.
I am so sorry for that poor kid.

What does MPD have to do with this. This is a MOCO crime. Your question should read, what is Metro and MOCO police doing?

The Chevy Chase Pavillion, where the sexual abuse occurred, is in the District of Columbia.

The Van Ness metro station, where this perpetrator robbed a 2nd person after the CC Pavillion crime, is also in the District of Columbia.

The gunpoint occurred at the Bethesda, Md train station. He forced the victim to board the southbound train entering DC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems pretty clear that the Metro has become a free-for-all zone for all manners of criminals. What on earth are Metro and MPD doing about this?! Why are there no officers patrolling the trains?! Mind-boggling.
I am so sorry for that poor kid.

What does MPD have to do with this. This is a MOCO crime. Your question should read, what is Metro and MOCO police doing?

The Chevy Chase Pavillion, where the sexual abuse occurred, is in the District of Columbia.

The Van Ness metro station, where this perpetrator robbed a 2nd person after the CC Pavillion crime, is also in the District of Columbia.

Anonymous wrote:It seems pretty clear that the Metro has become a free-for-all zone for all manners of criminals. What on earth are Metro and MPD doing about this?! Why are there no officers patrolling the trains?! Mind-boggling.
I am so sorry for that poor kid.

What does MPD have to do with this. This is a MOCO crime. Your question should read, what is Metro and MOCO police doing?

It seems pretty clear that the Metro has become a free-for-all zone for all manners of criminals. What on earth are Metro and MPD doing about this?! Why are there no officers patrolling the trains?! Mind-boggling.
I am so sorry for that poor kid.

"Weird Parent" here. I was not trying to victim blame, and I apologize if it came off that way. While what I said can't help that child, I was hoping that it would help someone else. I was brutally raped when I was 17 and I know that if I had screamed or fought a bit more, it would have ended sooner (people would have heard me). I don't blame myself, because there was nothing I could have done to stop/prevent the initial assault.
I have great sympathy for that victim and his family. They will all need lots of love and support. Again, I was not trying to offend. I'm glad there were posters that explained it better than I did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm a weird parent. I've told my DD to NEVER go with someone willingly, even if they have a weapon, esp if she is someplace where there is a crowd. She is to fight,scream, run and cause attention. The thought of someone taking her, then torture,rape, etc etc is too much, and I want her body found. The potential emotional, psychological scars is too great. Also, I've ensured Mom, House is no where listed in her phone contacts and she deletes all my text messages. I've told her that even if someone tells her I would be hurt she is to NEVER NEVER go. I do hope the teen will be fine eventually.

You aren't wrong.

Never willingly allow yourself to be taken to a secondary crime scene. Your odds of surviving or of not being hurt drop dramatically.

Read "the gift of fear"

Oh, right. That would have been so helpful. Maybe this poor boy could have hit his attacker over the head with his copy.

You really suck.

There is no point in second guessing what this kid could have done. None of us know how we would react if we were in his position.

That doesn't make the point any less valid. If at all possible do not go to a second location. Fight your fight on the spot.

-NP

This isn't really the thread for that discussion, that should be saved for discussions on what you should teach your kids about safety. In this thread statements like PPS made amount to nothing but blaming the victim.

Um, ok self-appointed "Thread Police". I'm not the PP you're referring to, but as someone who worked in child welfare for a very long time and worked with actual abuse victims and sometimes the abusers, I never ever ever pass up a chance on a thread about something awful like this to share prevention knowledge.

The fact that you see tips on how to possibly avoid something like this as victim-blaming is bizarre and insane to me. Most people don't know this advice about not going to a secondary location. It has and will continue to save lives when people remember and can act on it. But IF YOU NEVER KNEW IN THE FIRST PLACE, well then what are the odds you'll be able to ever use the knowledge you never got?

I don't see anyone as blaming this poor kid for what happened. And maybe I missed it, but I also didn't see anyone say "This will NEVER happen to my child", just "I always tell my child to NEVER...". That is NOT the same as blaming the victim. That is saying what you do, and sharing it in hopes it might help someone else.

At the end of the day though, even with not going to a secondary location, you never know if your assailant is one of hte crazy ones who just doesn't care, like the nuts on the metro who have assaulted strangers on crowded trains. Doesn't get much more public than that, so if that person says go down an alley and you don't go, they may still do whatever they were going to do.

No one can blame the boy in the original article, and no one should. It's awful and shouldn't happen to anyone. But yelling at people who offer actual good advice on what to do if it happens to you, in case you might actually be able to use it or pass it on, is just bizarre and actually does NOTHING to help prevent it the next time for someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm a weird parent. I've told my DD to NEVER go with someone willingly, even if they have a weapon, esp if she is someplace where there is a crowd. She is to fight,scream, run and cause attention. The thought of someone taking her, then torture,rape, etc etc is too much, and I want her body found. The potential emotional, psychological scars is too great. Also, I've ensured Mom, House is no where listed in her phone contacts and she deletes all my text messages. I've told her that even if someone tells her I would be hurt she is to NEVER NEVER go. I do hope the teen will be fine eventually.

You aren't wrong.

Never willingly allow yourself to be taken to a secondary crime scene. Your odds of surviving or of not being hurt drop dramatically.

Read "the gift of fear"

You said it much more simply than me PP, but that's what I was trying to say. It's good advice.

And honestly, I don't see the OP of this post as blaming the victim. MOST PEOPLE would do what they're asked if a weapon is held up to them or they believe they could be hurt/killed. It's the nature of fear. But if one CAN remember not to go, it may save a life or prevent a rape or other horror.

In most abduction/assault situations, the first moments are the victim's best chance of escaping. Do what you can, and don't make it easier by going with the criminal.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm a weird parent. I've told my DD to NEVER go with someone willingly, even if they have a weapon, esp if she is someplace where there is a crowd. She is to fight,scream, run and cause attention. The thought of someone taking her, then torture,rape, etc etc is too much, and I want her body found. The potential emotional, psychological scars is too great. Also, I've ensured Mom, House is no where listed in her phone contacts and she deletes all my text messages. I've told her that even if someone tells her I would be hurt she is to NEVER NEVER go. I do hope the teen will be fine eventually.

This is actually the right way to handle it, but you describe it in a way that makes it sound like you tell her this just so when she's shot or killed, you'll know where the body is. That may be your reason for telling her this, but there is a much more important and better reason to tell her:

As you hint at, the fact is that there are 2 kinds of criminals who do physical harm: the crazy ones who aren't afraid to be seen or caught; and the much more common ones who are looking for victims that they can victimize without getting caught or being seen.

For this reason, I have been told and pass this on to my loved ones, that if anyone flashes a gun or a knife or even holds a gun to your head, just whimper and cry or scream or whatever, but DO NOT GET INTO A CAR/GO DOWN AN ALLEY/GO INTO A MORE SECLUDED PLACE WITH THEM.

Fact is, most of them don't want to be seen hurting you where you are, because they don't want to risk someone seeing them or hearing them shoot you or stab you or you screaming in pain. And if you act like you're paralyzed or as some have done just come out and say "I can't go", or curl up in a ball on the ground, or just start running towards people/traffic/a road, you stand a far far better chance of living through the situation and hopefully not being further harmed than from the scary experience of having someone threaten you in the first place.

If they want you to go to a more secluded place than where you are, just imagine how much more awful things they can do to you if you're in isolation than if you're still on a road or train or hallway or parking lot. I'll give my purse up, but I'm not going anywhere.

No need to take this advice on face value - check with your local law enforcement, or google "how women survive crimes alive" or anything like that. But it is also common sense. Just hard to make sure you remember if it happens.

Still safer to ride metro than have teen drive on beltway. My kid will continue to ride.

Oh ffs. I wasn't blaming or second guessing anyone. I was replying to the person who said that maybe she was weird for telling her kid to never go with someone. To fight and scream.

I was telling her she wasn't wrong. And isn't weird.

Which is why I quoted her post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm a weird parent. I've told my DD to NEVER go with someone willingly, even if they have a weapon, esp if she is someplace where there is a crowd. She is to fight,scream, run and cause attention. The thought of someone taking her, then torture,rape, etc etc is too much, and I want her body found. The potential emotional, psychological scars is too great. Also, I've ensured Mom, House is no where listed in her phone contacts and she deletes all my text messages. I've told her that even if someone tells her I would be hurt she is to NEVER NEVER go. I do hope the teen will be fine eventually.

This sounds like victim blaming to me.

This has zero to do with parenting. Zero. You have no idea what that boy was taught, and frankly it doesn't matter. Nobody knows what they will do when they are attacked and think they are to be killed. He did what he needed to do to survive.
For the rest of his life he's going to second guess himself thanks to people like you who somehow believe rape is the victims fault and he should have fought harder.

Where is your compassion and empathy? We're talking about a child who was hurt very badly, whose own mother is probably doing everything she can not to fall apart right now and you choose to post about how you are an awesome parent and imply that she isn't because her child was assaulted.
Shame on you!

+1 - well said

Agree. Every thread on this site about instances of assault on children has posts from parents describing how their children wouldn't be a victim of something like this. In reality, when faced with such a terrifying situation, people freeze. They forget everything they know. They become the deer in the headlights.

Why do you think militaries around the world put their soldiers through so many life fire exercises and simulations of war scenarios before sending them in the field? To help them overcome that initial terror response, to get them to the point where they can do what they need to do despite their natural desire to do the opposite. That kind of training takes years and years and still fails. You telling your daughter to scream like hell, while well intentioned, doesn't mean anything in the cold harsh reality of the real world.

The other sad thing about PP and those who think like her is they are unintentionally planting the seed of " it's my fault this happened I didn't fight hard enough" or " I'm damaged and broken and my mom would be ashamed of me." if God forbid something were to happen.

Yes teach your kids about safety, but that conversation in anyway should not imply that it's there fault if something does happens or that they are too damaged if something happens.

Also I hope pps have the good sense not to say this to someone who was assaulted or whose child was assaulted.

After the fact it's all about supporting the victim and letting him/ her know that they are loved and whatever they did in the moment was the right choice for them at the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm a weird parent. I've told my DD to NEVER go with someone willingly, even if they have a weapon, esp if she is someplace where there is a crowd. She is to fight,scream, run and cause attention. The thought of someone taking her, then torture,rape, etc etc is too much, and I want her body found. The potential emotional, psychological scars is too great. Also, I've ensured Mom, House is no where listed in her phone contacts and she deletes all my text messages. I've told her that even if someone tells her I would be hurt she is to NEVER NEVER go. I do hope the teen will be fine eventually.

You aren't wrong.

Never willingly allow yourself to be taken to a secondary crime scene. Your odds of surviving or of not being hurt drop dramatically.

Read "the gift of fear"

Oh, right. That would have been so helpful. Maybe this poor boy could have hit his attacker over the head with his copy.

You really suck.

There is no point in second guessing what this kid could have done. None of us know how we would react if we were in his position.

That doesn't make the point any less valid. If at all possible do not go to a second location. Fight your fight on the spot.

-NP

This isn't really the thread for that discussion, that should be saved for discussions on what you should teach your kids about safety. In this thread statements like PPS made amount to nothing but blaming the victim.