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Reply to "My SIL makes family functions unbearable - I really need to vent."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

That's such bullshit. When people are greiving they're often met with compassion, but when they continually lash out and[b] try to cause everyone else to be in pain for 15 years instead of learning to cope with their circumstances[/b], it's too much. She's becoming toxic by actively ruining what should be happy occasions, going out of her way to hurt other people out of jealousy, and it sounds like she's okay with financially ruining herself, her DH, MIL, and FIL, and expecting everyone in the family to help fund more fertility treatments. No one is abandoning her. She's alienating and pushing people away. [/quote]

Exactly - people don't get to abuse others repeatedly because they are hurt.  What SIL is going through sucks, but that doesn't give her permission to bring a rain cloud with her to family events and otherwise happy occasions.  If she can't go and fake it, she should just stay home.  I say this as a woman who sobbed after getting off the phone with my SIL when she quickly got pregnant and it hadn't happened for me after trying for 5 years.  I would have NEVER betrayed those feelings to her or my BIL - they have a right to happiness and to enjoy the experience.

OP - after 15 years of this, I don't know that I'd have the grace to not call her out.  Especially after what she said after your son's accident.  I probably wouldn't even attend the upcoming event.  [/quote]

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