Reply to S/O: Ladies - Would you have sex more often

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[b]I put a lot of effort into having regular sex with my husband.[/b] And I do this because he puts effort into showing me affection and being an active partner and making sure I am not overwhelmed.  [/quote]

I want my wife to show me affection, be an active partner, and make sure I'm not overwhelmed because I'm doing the same for her.[b] I want her to have sex with me because she thinks I'm sexy and wants to have sex with me - the same as I do for her. I don't particularly want her to make an effort to find me attractive.[/b] [/quote]

Right there with you, brother.  This is something women tend to minimize if not ignore completely.

It's also pretty sad that the PP has to "put a lot of effort into having regular sex with [her] husband."  I hope she doesn't tell him that.  It shouldn't require "a lot of effort" to have sex with your husband if you love him and are attracted to him.  [/quote]

I didn't say that I have to put a lot of effort in all the time or, perhaps more importantly,  that it is a burden or difficult or something I don't want to do. I think what I was trying to say is that preventing dry spells,  for me, requires effort. And that preventing dry spells generally is good for our marriage. So I make sure to not go too long with nothing because at some point that could easily lead to toooooo long.

It also has nothing to do about finding my dh attractive, he is always attractive to me. I'm just not always feeling like sex. I also certainly don't go into these occasional sexism encounters announcing to my dh that I'm talking myself into this one. It is always irrelevant once we get into it anyway because then I'm rely and genuinely into it.

I also think this is unfair. A woman gets on here talking about how she puts effort into fixing the parts of her that can lead to less sex and more problems and you're offended but the idea that a man would have to put effort into revving up a woman's drive gets the response "why is ramping up her since my problem?"[/quote]

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