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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. Yeah, not going sounds great. I just honestly, resent to the extreme that this is some sort of relationship referendum. We are a really close family. We all live locally and the cousins are extremely close.

I think half the reason I'm writing here is my family, normally a really loving haven for me, is feeling like some bizzaro world where everyone is thrilled to do this expensive, long group event, and I'm the odd one for not wanting to participate.[/quote]

Well, look at it from his side. You are a really loving close family and his sister doesn't want to attend her nieces very special day. Yet you take long expensive vacations.

There are two sides here. [/quote]

Yup. Brother has a point. And OP - you're changing hour story. You said you can afford anf handle long expensive vacations and now you're saying you can't.

If you truly have anxiety why don't you let the kids go in your place?[/quote]

op here. The only thing actually changing in my story is gender due to DCUM unimportant detail change impulse.

Nothing else has changed, I'm just trying to be honest. 
Yes - we could afford the entire trip - if we make it our top discretionary financial priority  for several years.
Yes - we could afford the time for a full tour if we make it our only vacation for two years.
Yes - I could physically get on the plane if I'm willing to be 10/10 anxious for the 28 hours of flight time. 
Yes - we could choose Israel as our last full family vacation before the eldest goes to collage, if the logistics of large group travel and packaged tours didn't make my husband a grumpy mess

Etc, etc (not even mentioning politics)

Just, please don't "invite" me for this "wonderful opportunity" and refuse  to demonstrate (beyond basic lip
service) that it's a huge request to make of others. And please don't meet the compromise I'm willing to come to with more complaints because the calculus doesn't make sense to you. (Yes, the trip is more expensive per hour the shorter time you stay... But it's still less expensive. etc etc etc)

Finally, I have no idea how the tour package timing fits in with the Bat Mitzvah timing. I have no idea yet what my minimum on the ground turnaround time will be to be at the ceremony. So those are just estimates. Oh, and I'm a lousy speller![/quote]

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