Reply to Am I the only mother who hates Mother's Day?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also had a crappy mother but emotionally I grew up and stopped letting a made up holiday bring this much angst into my life. Part of that growing up was recognizing that my mother was neither all bad or all good--like all human beings and that she in large part, simply a product of her environment and untreated mental illness. Dwelling only on the negative holds you victim to the past and recognizing that although I am a much, much better mother than my mom, I also know that I am not perfect either and my kids will judge me just as I judge her.[/quote]

--Some mothers are all bad. 
--a person can be emotionally grownup and still want nothing to do with their mother 
--your line about being judged as we judged our parents is a crock that we hear from abusive parents and the relatives who try to force the kids and adult children to accept the unacceptable. They were abusers. I'm not. As a healthy, emotionally grown up person, I get to distance myself from them because I'm not like them.

If you have to put down abuse survivors to make yourself feel like you're mature and together then you are not as emotionally grown up as you think. [/quote] You are only partially right. Some a users will try to convince you that they didn't abuse without a doubt. However, in reality at dome point even the best of parents fail their children on something and are indeed judged themselves. Part of moving beyond an abusive childhood is letting go of the anger--while still acknowledging that a wrong was committed. It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with a true abuser, but not all parents who make mistakes are abusive and letting this consume you hurts you and the new family you create. Anger and bitterness us one part of the healing processs. It is not the healthy end of the process. It seems like a lot of dcum posters haven't worked through their abuse. I know it took me a long time and a lot of work on myself to move past it and no longer let it consume me. I wish everyone the best in their journey.[/quote]

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