Reply to S/O: Stop enabling men and blaming women for IL dynamics

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Reply to "S/O: Stop enabling men and blaming women for IL dynamics"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This only works if you don't really like your ILs.  I stopped all involvement regarding things involving FIL.  My dh can go years before he remembers his own father's b-day, father's day, etc.  Would I have done this with MIL?  No way.  Sadly, she has passed away, but I loved her dearly and made all the plans to see her (most of which dh took credit for, but whatever).[/quote]

+1! I could have written this, as MIL was adorable but FIL is the opposite. I don't know how she stayed married to him. DH definitely takes after MIL (may she RIP), but his sibs definitely take after FIL! When FIL imposed a time table on calls/visits, I said, "DH, he's your dad, you deal with him." Within months, they had a falling out. My hands are full with the kids and my relatives. If/when DH chooses to patch things up with FIL is up to them.

OP -- and everybody else -- the only answer for your sanity is to back off, stay out of the fray and let DH settle his relationships with members of his family of origin all by himself like a big boy (I'm guessing that all of these guys are over 35).

Focus on the kids and your relatives. That's enough.[/quote]

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