Reply to S/O: Stop enabling men and blaming women for IL dynamics

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Reply to "S/O: Stop enabling men and blaming women for IL dynamics"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the OP of the thread this OP is talking about. Here's the thing about my brothers and their wives. The wives control everything. They make the choice about where to spend holidays. They decide what presents to give or not give. My brothers are clueless and while their marriages don't resemble mine (my DH actually does a good bit of the logistical day to day stuff and keeps our calendar), I know what family I have and what I'm working with.

I don't think we need to enable. But we need to recognize that some marriages have this dynamic and you just have to work with the people you are stuck with.

And here's the rub to my annoying situation. Do you think my brothers will care when I inevitably stop participating in gift exchanges for their kids? No. They probably won't notice. Their wives will. This is another annoying thing I am thinking through. Since these women are obviously the only people who give a crap (on their end) and are the people who make all of the choices that created my awkward situations, then yes, I am going to focus my ire on them. Because it's more productive than having yet another call with my clueless brother who's defensive.[/quote]

You obviously don't like/respect your SILs. So why do you care what they think/do?[/quote]

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