Reply to Disrespect in Middle Schools

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this issue is very complicated.
Stop by at Teen forum and you will see that is not single case event...
I have 2 kids in one of MS magnets.
One came crying from being bullied DURING MAGNET CLASS.
Another running around the house like maniac with "I can Weep.." Than my younger child came from elementary school, and mentioned that "Today we had Family Life, and were told that we are big now and can decide what we do. So mom, I am not doing extra math now... Sorry.."
And by the way, if you want to slap your child for  "F..k you", you get, "I am calling the police, you are abusing me..."
Same "I am calling the police", if I am forced to clean my room or help around house.
And I get " All my friends do this.." on daily basis.

So what middle class parents suppose to do in such "friendly" environment?
I can't afford private school for 3 kids, I can't homeschool 3 kids and work full time.
[b]Any suggestions? 
[/b][/quote]

Parenting classes, pronto.[/quote] 
And how parenting classes will help with bulling in class, or I am big and do not need any responsibilities spoon fed by school?
So now every parent suppose to get degree in psychology, so we can "gently" parent our "snowflakes" with total respect, when they learn to disrespect everyone in school?
Now days we are forced to raise kids in society that centered about "making kids happy".
By the way, police and social services will be at your doors immediately if they will think that you not treat your kid with "full" respect, however nobody will care if your child is sick or need mental help and you do not have enough money for treatment. We live in very strange society.

[/quote]
It's tough when you are one of a few parents that try to discipline your kids for back talking, and the rest don't don't do enough to curtail it.  It's like swimming up stream.   I agree, parenting has shifted too far the away. It's all about not hurting their self-esteem, treating them like they'll break if you dare try to discipline them.

Your MS kids are too old for a spanking now, so I would use privileges to discipline them.  Have a family meeting and explain to them that from now on, this is the rule.

My 11 yr old sometimes will speak rudely to me. I know this is how he speaks to his friends.  I have told  him a few times that he may speak to his friends this way, but I am his parent, and he does not speak to me that way.  Sometimes, he doesn't understand why what he said or the way he says something is considered disrespectful so I have to explain. But, it does start early because as you noticed, once they hit MS, it rachets up.  I remember when I was in MS, too, and that's when most of the backtalking really started.

As for the bullying, try to find out what exactly the bullying is about.  See if you and your child can come up with ways to handle it.  This happened to my DC once, and I asked dC if he wanted me to talk to the school. He said no, that he would handle it, but we did talk about what was going on, and what methods he could use to deal with it.  Seems like it has worked itself out for now.  If the bullying is physical, then absolutely, contact the school.[/quote]
Thanks for your response. I did not really was looking for answer on the forum board :-), and we  reported bulling to school (I was totally surprised that teacher did not controlled it during class...) And we do parent kids with privileges and time outs in their room.. And get "I do not care..." a lot.
My point is in this society it is complicated with all your best intentions to raise responsible kids, when they try to copy their schoolmates all the time and feel empowered with their "big status"  and "freedom" implanted in their brain by schools. School does not teach responsibility or respect anymore somehow. They just try to "manage" kids.
What I also tried to highlight, that this is problem with any public school from any area W or magnet etc. This probably less an issue in private or religious schools, since teachers do not tolerate such behavior. [/quote]

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