Reply to Sister can't get over my miscarriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find it weird. I am FB with sisters and one of them had a still birth. Her sister post all the time about it (grant, the mother does as well - the baby had a FB page and we saw pics of him and the whole family holding him).

I don't get how one that isn't carrying the baby can be so [b]obsessed with a person who isn't living in our world[/b] (totally get that mothers have an attachment since they are carrying the baby). [/quote]

Uh... every dead person is not living in our world anymore. People should stop grieving their loved ones? Have you ever lost someone? If you live long enough, you will. Or maybe you just don't have anybody to lose.[/quote]

There is a difference. If someone comes into the world and you bond with them that is different than being an AUNT to a baby that was never alive outside of the womb. [/quote]

Unbelievable! So if I live out if state and my sister had a baby that I don't get to see right away; and if the baby dies a few days after being born, before I get to see her, you think I wouldn't care enough about her to mourn her, only because I didn't carry her in my womb?

[/quote]

NP -- of course you can mourn her.  But you also need to be aware that your sister's needs would trump yours here, and if she can't or doesn't want to handle the burden of your grief, that's absolutely fine.  You'd have to go somewhere else for support on this, just as OPs sister should.[/quote] PP here, and I absolutely agree with that. I do think the sister's behavior is not appropriate.
OP's needs definitely trump the sister's, and I didn't see a post to say otherwise. 
My reaction was to the 1st PPs post that I found to be very insensitive and lacking empathy, in the context of the stillbirth she referred to. Not having the opportunity to bond with a breathing baby doesn't mean you can't have a connection.[/quote]

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