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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^ I just want to add that there may be an advantage in not having your child look like you -- perhaps it makes it easier to accept what must be an elemental lesson of parenting -- your child is not you.  Our son looks so much like my husband, and now, as a young man, even sounds like him!  But, they're very different people.  In some ways, I do think that because we went through the adoption experience with our daughter, we've had to understand and accept that our kids aren't mini-mes.     [/quote]

hah. I'm pretty sure my mom never understood or accepted that I was not a mini-her. Every time I wasn't like her, it was a betrayal. It was also a little disconcerting to meet my birth family 30+ years later and see people who looked and acted like me. (I am very much an introvert, and would disappear with a book whenever I felt overwhelmed-- my little sister would do the exact same thing. My mom is completely not an introvert. Birth parents very introverted.)

As an adult, there are many ways I am very glad to not be genetically related to my parents. It's as much of a thing as you make out of it, I think. My mom spent a lot of time in my teens and 20s insisting the reason I didn't love her (I do, and did) was because she wasn't my "real" mom. Don't do that. Sometimes love doesn't look exactly like the way you yourself display it.[/quote]

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