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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op - slap yourself and wake up! you need to man up for the sake of your kids. sometimes shitty things happen to good people for whatever reasons. but it is what it is. you can only deal with what's in front of you - your dang kids! [/quote]

I agree.  And don't compare yourself to this schmuck.  You're killing yourself with that.[/quote]

Well. I never thought it would happen to me so props to all those who have been left behind in a divorce. It's not easy at all. I really appreciate all responses. I need to mourn this and move on. As someone said earlier, hanging on is so incredibly painful. So heart wrenching. I wish I were just a cold hearted dick and didn't care. But I am angry at what might have been. The shared future. Dreams. Jeez. [/quote]

I remember being in your shoes.  It is hard to believe that the person you truly thought you knew so well, could end up being so different.  It was hard to even comprehend how different my spouse was than I had thought.  It really makes you question your own judgement and so much more.

Yes, you are mourning the loss of the dreams of what could have been.  Often times, if you look at things objectively, you'll realize that you miss that dream more than you miss your actual spouse.  Sometimes we live a world where we think the best of people and just accept any shortcomings as they are.  Maybe there really is a much better person for you out there.  Maybe that person will be a great step-parent to your kids.  Perhaps you will find that being on your own is not as big a burden as it seems right now.

Let your wife's relationship run it's course. You are probably right.  She will miss the money.  But "hear" what your wife is telling you.  She is clearly unhappy with her life with you.  She has left a comfortable and financially secure environment AND her kids to be with this new guy.  [b]Is it possible that you were working so hard to provide for your family that she was feeling quite lonely or unappreciated?[/b]  Those would not be good reasons to have an affair, but her actions are telling you something important.  [b]Don't be too obtuse to get the message and move on[/b].[/quote]

So in DCUMland if the man is not a powerful breadwinner, he is no good but if he spends a lot of time at the office he is making his wife feel unappreciated?  OP, I do agree with the last sentence in this post.  Learn from this.  Eventually get some new hobbies, takes courses in things you always wanted to do.  When the next woman comes along in your life, and there will be another one, maybe you picked up a lesson in better communicating and doing everything you can to have a relationship with someone work.[/quote]

Certainly learn from this but one of the lessons is that you can be a new improved version of yourself. But your partner can still be a POS and leave rather than grow up and communicate with her partner unfortunately.  [/quote]

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