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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm in the same boat.  My DH is an emotional eater.  Our meals are healthy, and we keep to reasonable portions.  My kids and I try our best to stay active and invite DH to join us.  He makes some small efforts (works out with two friends once weekly and always says he intends to go again on his own over the weekend).  I move heaven and earth to protect that workout time for him (i.e. never schedule anything for that night).  He often binge eats in the early morning before I'm up, or late at night after I've gone to bed.  When he runs errands, he hits the drive-thru.  If he ever feels the slightest bit of deprivation, it tends to make him binge eat.  No amount of exercise can possibly make up for the calories he consumes.  We keep no snacks/treats in the house - he will find any carb in the house (whole wheat bread, whole wheat tortillas) and consume it.  Making him in charge of making the kids' lunches has helped because now he will make sure there's something available for them - before that he didn't really think of them and I would be left without lunch supplies.

I get resentful when I sense that he blames me for our limited sex life.  The efforts I've made to improve things in that department have been rough because his stamina is shot, and his blood pressure is crazy (making maintaining an erection difficult) - it has made sex extremely unsatisfying for both of us.  I try my best to point out that it's only going to get worse unless he makes changes.  He feels bad about it, but is somehow able to compartmentalize the issues so that he expects something different to happen each time we try - but I end up very frustrated and have no where to go with my irritation over the whole situation.  I read so much on here about low desire spouses, and would have to classify myself as one at this point - I'm really okay without ever having sex again as it's just fraught with difficulty and it's not worth the effort.

He doesn't physically repulse me, he has good personal hygiene.  We have a good life together, our kids are thriving, and our household is fairly peaceful.  We do spend time together doing things we enjoy.  There's nothing bad enough here for me to consider destroying the rest of the good in our lives.   The thing I've learned over my years dealing with this issue in particular is that he has to want change, and he has to do it himself.  I can only make sure that I'm not creating any roadblocks, and support the heck of out whatever positive choices he makes.  In reality, he needs lots of therapy to get at the emotional issues going on - so I've given up on proposing weight loss plans & personal trainers.  He will make some progress with those, but end up right back where he is because those emotional issues aren't addressed.  So here we are.  I manage my own anxiety by making sure we can live on one salary (mine) and we have lots of savings & good health insurance (he's not insurable for life insurance due to his health issues).  I know that no matter what he does, the kids and I will be fine.

Good luck.[/quote]

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