Reply to Bar/Bat Mitzvah attendance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Non Jew here who did not grow up in an are where bar mitzvahs were common (I have never attended one and I am in my 40s).

Why is the party so elaborate? Laser shows, photobooths, major favors and the like?

I get the DJ and food, but what is the motivation for the other stuff? Was it like that when you were kids or is it a newer trend?[/quote]

I'm 39, grew up in the Tri-state area, and aside from the Photo Booth, this is how it's always been. Huge events at country clubs or catering halls. This is where my sister's bat mitzvah ceremony was: https://www.cresthollow.com/events/bar-bat-mitzvahs/

In addition, she had a magician, a viennese table, a live band, photographer, videographer, party favors (personalized trophy for each kid at the dias), an after party at our house, a sleepover, and a brunch the following day. That doesn't include the private tutoring with the cantor, paying the rabbi/temple for the actual ceremony Saturday morning, the oneg after the ceremony at the temple, the special dresses (both for the Friday night service AND the Saturday event) for sister, mom, me, suits for dad and brother, etc. And this sort of thing is exactly what my older cousins were doing too. So it seems perfectly normal to me.[/quote]

It seems astonishing to me. Where I grew up, this is what everybody had: oneg Friday night at the synagogue, a catered lunch Saturday at the synagogue after the service. No special dresses or clothes, no trophies, no sleepovers, and I don't know what a Viennese table is (and don't feel like Googling).[/quote]

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