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[quote=Anonymous]I pissed money down the MC hole for years.  Every Monday night, DH would just complain about how I wasn't doing enough around the house, or committed enough to our child, or that I worked too much (I was and am the primary breadwinner).  I finally quit.  I was in counseling on my own working on my own issues, and I finally had had enough of being told I wasn't doing enough.  I'd fight back by dishing all over DH.  Neither of us would admit that we were each contributing to the demise of our marriage.  Quitting MC was almost the best thing I did for my marriage.

We are now years past MC.  DH and I both have different (but lower paying) jobs that are more in line with our temperaments (he even changed careers).  We acknowledge we both have faults and we ignore them (for the most part).  We joke about them.  We try to calmly see the issue from the other person's perspective.  It doesn't always work, but I know fighting with DH doesn't make him responsive.  Asking him to do things doesn't get him to do them. (I suspect he has a touch of ADHD).  We have a system so he knows what things he needs to do the keep the household moving and we each play to our strengths.  But we both had to move from fighting about inconsequential things, which is all MC did.

If you still want to try to save your marriage, try reading How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It.  Some of it is hoke, but it may set your perspective differently.  I saw two different divorce attorneys during all of this.  You can come back from the brink.  It's been 7-8 years since I quite marriage counseling.[/quote]

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