Reply to Retroactive child support in MD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Nope, we don't have a separation agreement yet. Because I trusted him and his lawyer when they said they wanted to do this amicably and avoid court. Their endless stalling, their proposals with outrageous demands that no sane person could agree to, put the lie to this. A little late, but I now see them for the liars they are.

And to think I held off sending my proposal in December, because I didn't want to wreck his Christmas.

I have supported our son 100% for the last 6 months and maybe 75% for the 6 months before that, [b]all out of my personal bank accounts[/b]. Also I'm paying about 2x what he's paying to our daughter's college.

So yes, I absolutely see this as him stealing from me. In the the sense that he knew I'd cave and feed and clothe our son, so he just sat back and waited for me to do 100% of it.[/quote]

This is the part you're not seeming to get.  The court will aggregate all of the accounts (except to the extent you have separate property which I suspect will be very little given the length of the marriage) and divide them in some manner.  So the money you paid out for your son is no longer part of those joint accounts so you will each get a smaller share.  The same with the money each of you paid out for your daughter's college.  Maybe you should consider a lawyer that costs a little more because the one you have doesn't seem to be doing a very good job.

The issue that each of you has to worry about at this point is whether the other is spending down/hiding the joint funds.  [/quote]

OP here. We don't have ANY joint bank accounts. The only joint item is the mortgage. I do have brokerage and money market accounts, but these are in my name only. I thought I made this clear above, but I've been using my own, personal not joint, money to fund my kid's food et cetera. That's the problem.[/quote]

And don't bother telling me that I'm still an idiot because I should have skimped on the food, college application fees, and so on because I won't be listening....[/quote]

PP here.  You need to talk to your lawyer about marital vs. separate property.  It's not simply a matter of whose name is on the account.[/quote]

Trust me, we've already been there. My personal assets are largely via inheritance and while X and his lawyer tried to get their paws on them, under MD law they won't succeed, so they've given up (except passively, of course, via not helping with child support so he can use his cash instead to wine and dine his OKCupid hotties. But I digress.)

Thanks, everyone, for the advice. I will be happy to be done.[/quote]

Tell your mom to stop giving you money directly till the divorce is final.  Let her pay directly for your needs or the kids but stop with the cash if that is what she is doing until you are divorced.  In the end, he will still be miserable as he'll have burned through all the online dates and hopefully you will move on either alone or find someone more deserving of you.  [/quote]

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