Reply to Parents Who Give the Silent Treatment

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[quote=Anonymous]The silent treatment is, ironically enough, considered a form of verbal abusive.  There is a great book that opened my eyes on the seriousness of it...in pretty sure it's called The Verbally Abusive Relationship.

It's awful and toxic and not your fault.

It's also unlikely that she will change.  The best thing you can do is draw very strong boundaries with her and your dad, her enabler in abuse.  Yes, he's been abused too, but just as in the case of physically abused spouses, abuse doesn't absolve you from your obligation, as an adult, to protect your children.

You are all adults now, so your responsibility is to yourself and your children, not her.  I'm sure you were a fine daughter and you spent your childhood desperately seeking the key to th mystery of what would keep your mom happy.  (I did the same with a rageful mom, who yelled and threw things rather than the silent treatment.  I think the hostility in either form of abuse is just as toxic to a kid.

My ou are free from that now if you let yourself be.  You know now that the secret to keeping your mom happy is that you can't.  She's a deeply unhappy, flawed person who seeks to blame others and hurts them.  You are free from trying to make her happy.  Know it.  Keep your distance.  Protect yourself and your kids and find happiness elsewhere...in yourself.

Good luck.[/quote]

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