Reply to Husband unemployed and not applying for jobs. How to manage my feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Argh! Do you have kids?

If he wants to be a SAHD, fine, draw up a list of responsibilities and hand them to him.

I'll help get you started:

Laundry
Dishes
Home cooked meal every week day
Yard work
Bills
House maintenance/home improvement
Christmas/Birthday/Holiday shopping and gift-buying
Bathrooms!!!

[/quote]

I was this poster 5 years ago. I had an XH who was unemployed because he quit a job (not because he was fired.) He did not look for a replacement job. He sat around at home. I tried this poster's advice: he turned into the SAHD and took over laundry. HOWEVER, here's what you need to know if your marriage fails.

1) Your DH will get custody or a greatly enhanced preference in the courts for custody.
2) If you have been married more than 5 years, you may owe him alimony for "giving up his career to devote himself to the kids."
3) You will be ordered to pay child support to your DH because he will have no income and most of the custodial time.
4) Your efforts to provide for the family will be misconstrued by the judge and court as "putting your career first."

If you doubt what I am writing, you should consult privately with a divorce attorney and/or read the book WHAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT DIVORCE.

So... proceed very carefully here. I wish I had insisted on sending kids to daycare (even though it would have been a financial hit) and documented his voluntary underemployed choices.[/quote]

So, he would be entitled to exactly what a SAHM would be entitled to in a more conventional situation.

How unjust.[/quote]

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