Reply to SO angry at my dh this morning

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you are young, single, and childless.  I think this topic touches a nerve for many DCUM posters (like me) who made similar trade-offs, settled for an undesirable situation, chose the wrong spouse, etc.  My advice to you (and my younger self) is to really decide what YOU want to do with your life and if your DH is the right person to proceed and procreate with.  This really has nothing to do with him...it's all on you and you have the power to make your own decisions, especially now before you have kids.

My thought about you is that you didn't have an exciting college life and always wanted to be "in the mix".  This is why you were attracted to your DH's college stories.  He was your ticket to a fun life.  He grew up, decided he's been there, done that, and wants to chill out in the suburbs.  Now, you feel deceived because he had his fun and you never got to.  I could be wrong but only you know the truth.[/quote]

Op here.

I think you're a 100% correct. I had NO fun in college. For the first two years I was a socially awkward nerd who spent all her time in the library and for the last two years my dad got sick so I spent a lot of weekends going home to see my family.

I figured once I graduated, found a job and became independent, I'd make friends and have a fun social life. And yes, I was attracted to DH because I thought he had a fun social life that I too could inherit. I did not count on him to "retire" from socializing so early.

[/quote]

If I were in your shoes, I'd do things relevant to my interests.  Take a class. Learn karate or how to paint or something.  Make friends with mutual interests. Ask your DH for one special date night a week, to go out and only focus on each other. You don't have to share or do all the same things together,  but you should have a night or two a week where you totally shut the world out and be together.  Then the next night, go to your class. 
My SO and I have different schedules and commutes, and we have two date nights a week. Lots of sex, cuddling, talking , reconnecting.  The rest of the week we are apart a lot, and are stuck in the burbs with no kids. It's what you make of it, not so much exactly where you live. [/quote]

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