Reply to DH resents me being SAH

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH resents me being SAH"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just my perspective as the working husband with a SAHM wife.  Kids are 8 and 5 and wife hasn't worked since youngest was born.

It works really well for us, but partly because my wife does almost all domestic tasks.  Sure, I help with dishes and bath and bedtime when I get home, trash, stuff on weekends.  But all other domestic responsibilities are hers, from meals, to groceries, to doctors appointments, Christmas gifts and cards.  She is really good and organized.  By the end of the day, after the kids are in bed, we both relax together.

The reason this works, we are both working hard.  If I had the perception that I was busting my chops at work for 9 hours and still had to do a chunk of domestic duties, I would be resentful.  Caveat - when the children are really young like OPs its harder to get stuff done (both ours are in school now).

Agree with previous posters, you need to talk.  And I am not implying that you aren't pulling your weight, but if you are SAH you need to accept the domestic is your role.  If not, you need to get a job outside the home.  On a related note, the generic advice is also: how's your sex life?[/quote]
Doesn't seem like OP is stating that she is not taking on domestic chores, but that he won't do jack shit.. like even bus his own plate, and that he is resentful and takes his stress out on her.  C'mon, no matter if you have a sahp partner, you can still bus your own plate.  Even my 5 yr old buses his own plate and makes his own bed.[/quote]

Keep in mind, we only have OP's side of this. It's entirely possible there's a whole universe of chores for which she and her DH disagree about whether they should be within the SAH sphere, and that he may be doing resentfully without OP realizing it. Whatever the real source, though, OP's husband is pretty clearly resentful of something, but the only person who can tell her for sure what it is, and work with her to resolve the resentment, is her husband. So yes, the plate thing is wrong, but that doesn't mean there isn't more to work out between them than just the plate.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics