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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband had a difficult childhood.  He has has a strained relationship with his mom.  We ended up caring for her in our home for a year and moved her to a nursing home.  I manage everything and we do buy her what she needs as she has no money.  She has always been nice to me. I do it as that is the example I want my child to have and do the same for me. [/quote]

+10000

Thank you so much for this.  I, too, had a difficult childhood.  My parents were both alcoholics and we didn't have much more than a pot to piss in (and that, a dirty one, since my mom was a hoarder).  But they loved me.  And we are family.  I would not abandon them.  For my own health and emotional stability, I had to learn to draw really clear boundaries, and I had to move away from them for a few hundred miles just so I wouldn't be sucked into their emotional black hole all the time, but I still loved them in actions - by spending time with them, talking to them, helping them with housing and medical insurance and other things they couldn't navigate on their own in their elderly years, and finally taking care of them both hands-on before their deaths.

You don't abandon your parents because they are imperfect.  If they are abusive, you move as far away, physically and emotionally, as you need to do to take care of yourself.  But excepting abuse, of course we should all feel obligated to our parents.  They are family.  And as they age, they may become as dependent as children.  That's the natural progress of life.  Healthy adults are supposed to care for the elderly.  That's the way it works.[/quote]

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