Reply to People with spouses who have cheated (and then you stuck together)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People who had spouses who cheated in the past:

1) do you really ever trust them again?
2) do you wish you'd just divorced when it happened?
3) is your marriage better now?
4) anything else with your 20/20 vision from the future?

FWIW, we are a year out from the end of the affair.[/quote]

For me:

1) yes
2) no
3) yes
4) I dunno. It's been 21 years since I found out DH was having an affair. The first year is very hard.

I think that it is all dependent on you, him, and your relationship. For us, I'm a forgivable sort who tends to think everyone is flawed in many ways and who thinks that having an affair is not the worst thing you can do in a relationship. (That doesn't mean I don't think it's awful, and it definitely doesn't mean I would have put up with ongoing cheating.) I'm not a romantic, I never believed in one true love or anything like that. My DH was very remorseful, wanted to stay married, and was willing to do whatever I needed to make it work. We had been happily married but had been going through a very tough time when he cheated, so I guess that made it more forgivable in a way.

Anyway, no regrets. He's been a great husband, partner, father. We have a good life together. I'm glad I stayed.[/quote]

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