Reply to Feel Like DH Abandoned Me

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[quote=Anonymous]Calling the OP selfish is way harsh and I think the PPs doing so have their own issues that need attendance.

OP, you're not going to get past it until you can talk it out, but think of that conversation as an exchange of information.  People have different ways of coping and staying busy/handling the day-to-day responsibilities is a common method.  There may also be something lingering from his first marriage - something that did or didn't work that he wanted to do differently.  It could be that it was very important to him to be there for his kids in the same way that he always is regardless of their mother's offer to do extra.  You have to consider that he's trying to manage how they feel about a new sibling with a different mother.  With an extra mouth to feed, he may be feeling the need to step it up at work in order to support ALL his kids.  And it may be that he didn't want to share any of that with you to avoid stressing or worrying you more than necessary.

Whatever the case, you want to let him know that you're open to hearing about what he was dealing with and, hopefully, he'll be open to hearing about what you're dealing with.  You can't change what is in the past and shouldn't expect any sort of apology or amends, but opening up about these things can help you give each other some understanding and leeway in the future. Open communication - in the moment - is key.

But please don't put him on defense by starting with "I feel like you abandoned me."[/quote]

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