Reply to Feel Like DH Abandoned Me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I appreciate what you're feeling, but I also think it's one of those situations where you have to consider your own bias to the situation, talk about it with your husband to clear the air, and move on.

Hospital hours are long hours, especially since I'm assuming you weren't acutely ill and healing, but being monitored for safety. Add in feeling worried and scared, I reckon that every hour felt like 3. It's a long time to feel lonely and you wonder how you can wait out the days.

That being said, life on the outside clips along at its usual crazy pace, and when you add in the extra work, etc. That come along with having a spouse in the hospital, the reality is time gets crunched even more. You feel like each hour is harried and only a half hour long and you wonder how you'll get it all done.

A lot of the experience is a matter of perspective.

I'm not trying to defend your husband, but you may also need to consider his side of things. Most hospitals have set visiti hours, so he was already limited to when he could come. Depending on how far the hospital is from your house, and other factors, youstill need to factor in how long it took him to get here, park, get home, etc. Those one hour visits may have taken two hours of time or more. Of course, you're there feeling like it's just an hour.. He's trying to fit in an extra two or more, into what, by your own post, sounds like a really time crunched schedule as it is.

I understand that there is nothing worse than being left alone, scared and with our own thoughts of fear, worry, and doubt. Unfortunately, every person eventually has to come to terms with the committee in their head. It sounds as though y have other fears or biases against the family he already has and where you and your new baby fit into that. You need *for yourself* to come to terms with that. Blended families are hard, and often the first step is learning not to compete.

I suspect both you and your husband did your best, under the circumstances, but unfortunately, sometimes it's impossible to meet everyone's needs all the time. That is part of the bittersweet part about life - truly, at the end of your day, the only person experiencing what you are is you.

Please have an honest, open discussion with your husband and let him know how you felt, but be open to his side too. I think he discussion needs to be had to move on, but you need to that in is case, there really are two completely different perspectives. Hear each other out, and move on. Get help for your own process on it, if need be, but I don't really see a great divide here, unless you make the choice to make it one.

In the end, I am happy everything worked out for you.

[/quote]

Thank you. This was really helpful.[/quote]

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