Reply to DD's Soon to be step-grandfather has a creepy vibe IMO. Trying not to prejudice child, but WWYD?

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Reply to "DD's Soon to be step-grandfather has a creepy vibe IMO. Trying not to prejudice child, but WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I call my DD "baby girl." Now that I think about it, when I drop her off at school, I say, "hey, baby girl" to whatever little girl I run into. I can't remember all of their names. For me, I could say it's cultural, maybe. I don't know. It doesn't ring poorly to me.

With all of the hardship so many "step" kids have in blended families, I see this as the grandparents (likely only because of the competitiveness they feel with one another, sadly) embrace their new role. She's their first grandchild, right?

You don't say anything about your feelings toward your ex-DH's new wife or their situation, but I would encourage you to unpack you feelings about DD having new, extended family. Are you zeroing in on this and choosing to frame it as "creepy" behavior because of other feelings you may have---of loss, or anything else?

Anger is my most comfortable emotion. It's harder to have feelings of vulnerability. I know I'm not alone in this. Because it's something I've worked on considerably throughout my life, I'm on the watch for it. Obviously, you should teach your child about stranger danger and inappropriate touching and ALL of that. But, what is going on here? You describe the jockeying between grandparents. You note the absence of another child, passed and likely for the future. An endearment didn't make me think "red flag!"

I hope this doesn't come off as harsh because I really am asking the question: Could there be some denial at work here? Are you comfortable with DD's growing family? I would be careful about pathologizing or criminalizing behavior before taking a look at my own feelings about the bigger picture.
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This is spot on.[/quote]

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