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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your mom is bi-polar, your brother (and you) are more at risk.

I think you need therapy to put their behavior into perspective.  If your mom or brother say mean things about you, it doesn't mean that you are a laughing stock to the rest of your family.  More than likely, they see through the mean comments.[/quote]

I pointed out my mother and brother but the rest of my siblings and their spouses insult me, too. My own 15 year old niece does it often. If I tell her not to speak to me like that, I'm immediately attacked about how she can say what she wants.

My mom is not being treated and refuses to. I'm not bi-polar nor are any of my siblings. [/quote]

OP, I'm not the PP who suggested therapy but after your reply here I want to second that idea. Pursuing therapy is not intended to diagnose you as bipolar or anything else. It's intended to help you figure out why you have chosen to continue seeing and interacting with people who treat you so poorly, and why your family's dynamics over your lifetime have ended up so screwed. Therapy can help you develop skills either to protect yourself from your family's sick dynamic, or walk away from it without guilt. You haven't walked away yet, so please consider that you need some tools to help you do so. I really hope you do get help and/or just stop seeing people who treat you this way.

By the way, I would wager that many if not all of your family members, if confronted, would try one of two defenses:

Either they claim they are just joking ("It's just a joke," "It's just banter," "We're only teasing and you just can't take it," "Why can't you learn to take a joke and give as good as you get") OR they claim they are being honest, frank, "real" people who don't brook dishonesty and who equate even basic politeness with being less than perfectly frank.

I had a friend who was so into her vaunted "honesty" that she alienated everyone with unfiltered comments that came off as insults but she was so invested in whatever she said "being for your own good" etc. And I have relatives, fortunately ones who are not close enough to see much, who communicate with their own spouses and teen kids entirely in "banter" that comes off as mean, insulting teasing. OP, does your family have either the "I'm perfectly honest and won't change because you need to hear this!" syndrome or the "It's just a joke, lighten up!" syndrome? In either case, it seems impossible for people who communicate in those ways, filterless and self-righteous, to change, so you might need to make the change here and stop seeing them.

Talk with a professional about what there is in your background that has made you continue to tolerate this treatment as long as you have -- so that you learn not to repeat the pattern with other relationships.[/quote]

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