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[quote=Anonymous]There could be a million different reasons why they have made you the scapegoat in this narcissistic based family dysfunction but the reasons don't matter. Your understanding why won't fix anything. In the future another sibling may fall out of favor and take the scapegoat role but don't be suckered. Don't chase these people for love. They are broken and will probably never know how to really love another person.

Your family is so dysfunctional that there is no way you can grow up with this and have a reasonable self esteem. If this has gone on for very long, it will affect your relationships. You probably tolerate a lot of abuse that most people would not and probably. Are you a door mat or a people pleaser? You have been trained to take abuse without complaint. If you stand up to them, they gas light you. Are you familiar with that term? You need to read about narcissistic families.

A good therapist can help particularly when you begin a serious relationship. It is very hard to drop the patterns and training. You are the lucky one in the sick family dynamic. The scapegoats often escape and seek help because of the abuse. The others in the family get enough intermittent reward to prevent them from dealing with the dysfunction.They are abused as well even if it seems they are not.

Good luck op. They don't know you and will never see what shines in you. [/quote]

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