Reply to If you got engaged after living together for a long time

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So what exactly is your problem, OP?
Would you rather she didn't congratulate you or seem indifferent?
You honestly come off as pretentious.
Like you want so badly to be above  social norms and this engagement is upsetting your  rebellion against society.

[/quote]

I guess I just felt like *I* should feel that excited. But, this thread has been very good and cathartic for me. I get exactly why things have gone the way they have, and it has nothing to do with rebellion. My (chosen) narrative would have gone very much by "societal norms", but I knew the choices I was making that they didn't were the right ones. So, I apparently rebelled out of default.. And maybe in a weird way, that was a blessing.

And I don't mean to sound pretentious... I was just really confused as this wasn't something I expected and it was a really ambivalent feeling I had. I'd set my sails by the life I had known to come to expect. Who doesn't feel a little thrown off by a plot twist? [/quote]

1. Maybe you aren't as in love with your now fiance as you believe you are. I know plenty of people with your background who were still happy  and excited when they got engaged. Maybe you and he have been together all this time because it seemed like a practical step, and this engagement is highlighting that.

2. Maybe you are depressed or have some other anxiety disorder. I have a friend like this and with a similar situation to  you and she didn't allow her to be excited for her engagement or wedding because those feelings caused her too much stress.

3. As much as you don't want to admit it you did fancy yourself a rebel and this puts a wrench in things. This is my sister . She and my now brother in law try so hard to be rebels they enjoy nothing. Nothing, but they insist that's not it.[/quote]

Or maybe... I honestly had accepted we would never get married and I was SURPRISED, had a MIX OF FEELINGS I couldn't Immediately pinpoint and process, and just felt unsettled because it was a new direction (in the midst of all other holiday chaos)?

It's sad that people on DCUM have never been human beings a single day of their lives. Or empathize when other people are.

FWIW, I've been feeling more of th excitement I expected off the go. I just needed time to process something, that, as I said, that changed the complete narrative of what I knew to be true. It's normal to waver in the face of unusual things. [/quote]

Or maybe you're just a troll.

Who needs to "process" this much? Or should I say process as long as  the reply agrees with your   viewpoint.
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