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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister cut off my two brothers after my mother died.  It has destroyed my entire family.  Think long and hard about the repercussions beyond yourself.[/quote]

That sounds very one sided. She cut them off for no reason? Just for kicks? Or were there reasons she outlined, but perhaps for reasons that don't meet your approval?

[/quote] I love my sister and I know he believed she had reason--believe me I she told me every tiny detail.  I was a witness to it all and have stuck with my sister all of these years and the cost of my brothers.   I know why she did what she did but she let grief, unresolved childhood jealousies, and anger overtake common sense. Everyone lives in different states and rarely saw each other even before the formal drama.  She blew up the entire family, destroyed relationships among siblings resulting in nieces and nephews losing aunts and uncles, etc.  It was an unnecessary act that could have easily been avoided.  Ten years later she is still as pissed and nasty and is losing one of her children to the conflict.  There are more adult ways to handle things.  [/quote]

We are in the exact situation.  Sick father and one sibling being manipulative, nasty and generally toxic to the entire family though directly mostly at one sibling due to jealousy and unresolved childhood issues. I personally think she actually has a mental issue. Sadly it has isolated her and she is living a pretty lonely life which will only get lonelier once our father dies.

The good news is that we all recognize the role that our parents played in creating the monster that she is and have hopefully will avoid it with our own children. [/quote] My heart goes out to you. I wish your dad good health and recovery from his illness.  It sounds as if, for the most part, your family is approaching the entire issue with maturity and thus,  you all will survive this.  Sadly, my brothers were major jerks throughout my mother's illness and ultimate death and pushed all the wrong buttons with each other, with my sister and with my.  My three siblings couldn't quite understand that you can live in the same house as a child but not have he same experience.  No two people will grieve exactly the same and you shouldn't expect some one else to react the way you do.  There comes a time when you need to put aside childhood jealousies and move on for your own sake if not for others.  Finally, don't react and make major decisions when you are grieving.  Needless to say we were a very dysfunctional family.  Years of therapy is the only thing that kept me from going down the same path.  This is truly the biggest sorrow of my life and as crazy as my family was, I miss my nieces and nephews and I greatly great that my children do not know their aunts, uncles and cousins and I constantly have to work to counteract the message they receive about what family means, the benefits of forgiveness, and the need for maturity and growth in all relationships.  I try to be honest with them about what happened and explain it in a respectful manner hopefully, as a lesson on what not to do, but children learn what they live...[/quote]

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