Reply to Sibling doesn't want to exchange gifts this year. Why does this bother me?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I will do you one better... I received a text a few weeks ago from my SIL (who I have a rocky relationship with) telling me that she and my brother will no longer be buying gifts for anyone who has a child, only the child will get one.  [b]This informative text did not excuse me from buying a gift for them[/b] but simply let me know that unlike our other sibling who does not have a child I would no longer receive one.

I didn't respond but will be getting them an experience or consumable gift which is what I try to do for adults.  I actually have a groupon for a concert I know they will like for $40 for two tickets in mind.  I like to give gifts or provide kind gestures to people I love to show thoughtfulness during the holidays.  I have a huge immediate family and it does add up and is time consuming but I also like doing it.  Both bro and SIL are creative people who could make something for my family (he's an artist and amazing cook).  They have tons of free time and more luxury hobbies than anyone I know, partly due to deciding not to have kids.

I think her text was ridiculous and continues to demonstrate to me that she does not want to work on having a better relationship.  And I think my brother is a coward and dramatically lacks character and a backbone and it's really sad to see this at 40 years old.

I totally understand you being miffed and I am too and I am getting them a gift that I know they will like because this is who I am and their bad behavior is not going to dictate mine behavior.[/quote]

Sure it did!  I would respond, "Oh, that's wonderful!  I've always thought that the gifts are really for the kids, anyway."  And then don't give them anything.  How can they possibly complain?

This is what my extended family started doing, and what I wish my in-laws would do.  If I see something that I think someone would really love, I can give it to them anytime, but this exchanging of lists of stuff to buy is just so pointless.  [/quote]

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