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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Let me be more specific. My father said I deserved what he did to me.

Is that imperfect enough? [/quote]

OP, I'm the one who talked about imperfect apologies.

Clearly, this goes beyond an imperfect apology and crosses the bounds into blaming the victim.

It's up to you to decide whether to cut all ties with your father or not, but [b]certainly no one would blame you if you did[/b].  I'm so sorry.

As for whether to tell people you don't love your parents, [b]I think anyone would/could understand that you don't[/b], but maybe you want to find a more matter-of-fact way to phrase this.  Something like:

"I don't involve my parents in my life at all at this point in my life and I really don't have much of an emotional tie to them."  [/quote]

Actually no, not "anyone" would/could understand that she doesn't love them, and there are plenty of people who would blame her if she did cut off contact.  Just look at this thread.

Also it is not "psychobabble" to say that someone did not take ownership of their actions.  Taking ownership of your actions and apologizing means saying "Yes, I did this.  I recognize that it hurt you and I feel badly about that.  I am sorry for what I did." If someone does not take ownership of their actions, they can not truly apologize.  That's not asking for blood or wanting someone to go under a knife.  That is a basic apology.

OP, being vague is usually the best route to take if parental relationships come up in conversation.  For example: "Things are a little complicated." Polite people will not usually probe further after you say this.  I've used it often.

You don't need to tell people (if you don't want to) that you don't involve your parents in your life or that you feel no love for them.  It will only open you up to more comments along the lines of what has already been said in this thread.  People make these kinds of comments and pressure you to reconcile because it makes people immensely uncomfortable to think about the severance of a parent/child relationship.  They are trying to make themselves feel better, even among strangers on the internet.  Again, if this same post was regarding a romantic partner, no one would be pressuring you to accept an apology.  They would be telling you to run for the hills and not look back.
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