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[quote=Anonymous]Hugs, OP. I spent my 41st year pursuing an elusive #2 with no success. I knew my chances were low due to age, but still had hope. Three transfers later it is clear as day that my body is not doing its job anymore. I am very saddened, but since I can't turn back time, it is what it is. I deferred to DH if he wants to pursue the DE route. I would absolutely love to have another infant, a genetic sibling for DS, and another child for DH (I adore both and blame myself for the situation we are in. Neither deserves to be shortchanged just because I was stupid enough not to seek help earlier.) But I don't want to withstand the emotional and financial strain just for me. I will only do it if DH decides he passionately wants another genetic child. I asked him to think about what he wants and doesn't want to do, and he said he would. We may revisit the topic early next year.

I am an only child myself, and I like it this way. The only strong negative I experience is the debilitating fear that something bad will happen to my only. I will not outlive my child, I know that much. But this is therapy material, and healthy people don't deal with it to that degree. I think.

Anyway, I am in a pretty dark place myself and know exactly how you feel, OP. I don't know if knowing there are quite a few of us out there helps. Hopefully, it does.[/quote]

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