Reply to I'm jealous of my kid's relationship with their stepmom

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[quote=Anonymous]A step mom here. (Never an ASAP though). I think it was so kind of you to let your kids for TG to see cousins. I have found in divorced families that kids often really miss extended family a lot, and the divorce can hurt those relationships so much.

I know they are just words but a step mom never replaces a real mom. She likely is trying to make everything perfect. I know I try.  I think I might just tell the girls it's great to have two sets of traditions in each house. Try not to think of it as a competition, but more like an addition.

I'd be cautious about giving up holidays, even for cousins. Is there a way you can get the kids together with these cousins at other times? Or are those relationships strained because of the divorce?

Im sorry it hurts so much and I hope the relationships get to an equilibrium where the kids are happy there, but not over the top gushing about it. If that makes sense. Sounds like things are still pretty new? They will likely change several times over the years.  I know my relationship has, although I think I approach being a SM in a different way than most. I give 100% deference to their mom. Not for their mom's sake but for the kids' sake. [/quote]

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