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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I teach my kids that before they say anything, they have to think:[/b]

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it helpful?

Calling someone fat is definitely not all 3. [/quote]

is it true = yes
is it kind = yes (lard ass elephant would be unkind)
is it helpful = yes, time for wakeup call, diet and gym for you![/quote]

This is great advice when you're teaching kids to interact with other kids in school and in society in general. But are you that controlled around your spouse? I think those 3 things are honorable goals, but what if your spouse does something that lets you down? You don't say it just because it's not particularly kind? [/quote]

This is not about letting someone down.  A spouse should not be any particular size to suit the expectations of the other.

If you cant be kind to your spouse, the person who you should treat better than anyone else in the world, what does it say about you as a person? Its not about being controlled, its about being nice. Same way you need to be polite and thankful, say please and thank you, give compliments and apologies.

Obviously, you can tell your spouse if there is a problem, but "you are fat" is not saying there is a problem. "You have been down on yourself about your weight and it is affecting our relationship" is talking about a problem. [/quote]

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