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[quote=Anonymous]There's marital rape of the "Joan and Greg in that episode of Mad Men" variety and marital rape/sexual assault of the "she didn't actively say no" variety.

Society's certainly advanced from the 1940s where the reaction to marital rape was "DOES NOT COMPUTE YOU DIVIDED BY ZERO" (and come on, many if not most women love love love that scene from Gone with the Wind). Now, I think most of us can acknowledge something like "Joan and Greg in that episode of Mad Men" is rape.

The latter -- yes, it's rape, but does OP's friend really want to see her husband raked over the coals at trial (not to mention what a trial would do to her), sent to jail/probation, possibly losing his job (and hence her child support) ... or does OP's friend want to see a counselor, talk to her husband, etc., before going all nuclear? On the other hand I suspect the friend's talked to her husband who's gone all "Haha you silly woman, I know you want my schlong and my manly manliness."

It's not cool.

It meets the legal definition of rape/sexual assault (don't some states require PIV in order for it to be rape as opposed to "lesser" sexual assault?)

But OP's friend has to be very careful about what she does if she decides to pursue official remedies for this situation. Informal ones, such as individual or marital counseling, or a no-fault divorce, yes. Those can be pursued. But the legal system is a bell that cannot be unrung. [/quote]

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