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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm sorry your friend is going through this.  At the very minimum, her husband should be doing whatever he can to make her feel safe/not blame her.  It's worrisome that he is blaming her, to say the least.  I understand the freezing thing.  I, unfortunately, had a couple of experiences when I was a teenager when I awoke to a boy touching me inappropriately (to put it extremely mildly) and just pretended to be asleep so it would be over.  That was really scary and horrific.  But these boys were not my husband, they were "friends" (I guess not really friends in retrospect), so it seemed extremely threatening.  It is terrible that she feels this way about her husband, it must be very traumatic for her.  Has your friend's husband at least promised never to that again?

I don't know what's normal in other bedrooms, but I don't think this is a troll and there is a strange line somewhere.  In contrast to my teenage experiences, my husband has initiated sex after I've gone to sleep - but by that I mean coming over to me and rubbing my shoulders, perhaps touching my breasts, and that wakes me up.  And then if I'm in the mood, we will have sex and if I'm not I tell him that I'm sorry but I am too tired, not in the mood, etc.  He has never persisted, and I have never thought of him waking me up in such a manner to be abusive.  But this is kind of something that has gone on forever and it truly doesn't bother me so it is all about consent in general.[/quote]

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