Reply to Effective strategies for getting DH to pull his weight

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm going to try to say this as nicely as I can. OP, you need to ease up on things and take some responsibility for this. You are likely doing more than your spouse, but marriage is not just an equal work share arrangement.

I am married to someone similar, and we went to counseling over these things. I was frequently angry, feeling like DH didn't pull his weight. When we discussed specific things, I realized most things were things I wanted, not things we both wanted.

In your example above, why are you waking up so late that you don't have time to brush your hair. Your lateness is also rushing your kids. You shouldn't be so far behind that kids are eating granola in the car. Your DH likely felt the same way and he made them breakfast. You wanted to rush and be on time. He wanted them feed. Both are valid objectives.

You also seem to think he should intuitively know what you want done and when. These are things you want. Another example is the kids in bed by 8. Plenty of families have their children go to be later. This is your want. Not his..

Same thing with computer time. Why can't he be on the laptop while the kids are playing in the same room?  I do this all the time. It is your want dor him to be one the floor playing. If crayons are left out where the kids can make a mess, then that is a collective fault. Why are the crayons where the kids can reach them?

If you want your marriage to work and to stop being angry all the time, you need to take some responsibility for your actions. If you're running low on money to outsource, you need to find a job that makes more. Your DH is just as sick of you judging, complaining, and looking down on im as you are sick of him. [/quote]

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