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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, take one holiday at a time. You are going to drive everyone insane otherwise.[/quote]

This, please. This year doesn't have to be part of a big plan, no need to schedule out so far. It makes for a brittle agreement all around, with everyone clinging to their piece of promise rather than focusing on the holiday at hand.

Focus on Xmas 2015, with all of the fun memory-making you have planned. It may help keep things smooth (and help DH understand your vision) once people see what it is that you mean by building tradition at home.

That said, you can do some thinking as to the future. For example, you could start thinking about another tradition that you can specifically draw your ILs into. Nutcracker in early December? What about tooth fairy down the road? I can see the pressure to maintain peace throughout the family as you bring your vision of Xmas at home for a few years into being. But, you don't need to bring others into it right now. Pace yourself. Situations naturally evolve. Nothing wrong with keeping things flexible. Your struggle is with fairness. I see that.

Honestly, as someone with no family, it's an awesome problem to have. So, try to remember that.

----Single mom, parents deceased (and they were never big on Xmas anyway), only sibling overseas.

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