Reply to Is habitual lying a part of ADHD?

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "Is habitual lying a part of ADHD? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]
[/quote]
Here's what I don't get.  Someone fidgets with a stove knob and the stove knob breaks.  This is an accident.  Make it easy for that person to apologize.  You don't jump on them for "lying"  or ask that person "what the hell were you thinking?" You make it easy for them to save face.  An accident is an accident.  WTF?  Yes, fidgeting is immature.  But what do you get out of a group of people jumping on a grown man and interrogating him?  What do you expect to happen in this situation?  This is an insane family dynamic.[/quote]

I'm 20:41. My brother is 47 years old. You don't get that "it's an accident" when these other things have happened too:

- He borrowed my husband's car and broke the rear view mirror while he was adjusting it. "it just fell off" 
- He broke the acrylic towel bar in our guest bathroom shower. 
- He broke the sprayer in my kitchen while he was washing dishes. 
- He broke the side view mirror of my mom's car. 
- The lever of my recliner
- Lots of laptops, cameras, DVD players, all broken.

All accidents? All to just be "forgiven" ? What's to forgive? He doesn't think it's his fault and so why should he say he's sorry?  How do you make it easy for someone to save face when this is the normal occurrence?   Yes, it becomes an insane family dynamic. And that's what we folks with family members with ADHD need to know and accept- whether you like it or not, ADHD WILL affect the dynamics and unless you really watch it and train everyone to be compassionate and understand the underlying issues (poor motor control, poor impulses), you will have all these strained relationships and that person will ADHD will only get worse.

Don't think that ADHD is all just about poor motor control and poor impulses, it is a web of tangled up and distorted thought processes and unless you work on getting those processes untangled, the person will never improve. My DD is 13 now and thankfully, she is able to tell me her thought process. Every day we reassure her that our home is a safe environment for her to tell us what and how she is thinking. She tells us all the time that she's not lying. And we do believe her, but it's also after we talk about her thought process- and sure enough, on the outside, or for someone who doesn't understand the full context, it can sound like she is lying. 
[/quote]

It sounds like you are talking about a fine motor OT or dyspraxia issue along with a poor sense of self awareness that almost verges on the spectrum. I work wit ADHD kids and what you are describing is not typical ADHD behavior.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics