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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, just elope. Don't invite either side of the family. Then take your new husband to visit your side of the family for a weekend. You can keep the two sides of the family separate. [/quote]

I've been married before ( I was 18, eloped). I have my heart set on a real wedding. I have made a nice life for myself. My friends are family, I'd like ten to be there. He's close to his family. I'm just not sure what we will tell his family about my family not being there. I guess I could tell my family thay I eloped, and keep all pictures off of social media.[/quote]

Fortunately, your boyfriend knows your history, so you don't have to keep secrets from him.  And you're in counseling already so you are working on that.

Regarding keeping your family separate, perhaps you could tell people something vague such as they live far away and your parents are aging and don't travel well and that your siblings don't get enough leave to visit for a wedding, holidays, etc.   As others have posted, you don't need to mix the two families.  And since you are not estranged and do make the obligatory visit at least once a year, that should be enough.

Once you get married and if you decide to have kids, you can have boundaries in place to protect that part of your life.   Also, it's a good idea that you know you would need to keep your events off of social media.  [/quote]

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