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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Y[b]ou know, there are unpleasant kids who get subtly excluded because they're unpleasant: obnoxious, unstable, excessively needy or demanding, prone to tantrums or tears, etc. You can require children to be courteous to one another, but you can't "make" them like difficult peers, and you can't make them want to play with or spend time with difficult peers.[/b]

There is real bullying in the world, but kids just not liking another kid and not wanting to play or work with him/her isn't bullying. It can be hurtful to that other kid, but it isn't appropriate to call it "bullying." Distinguish between intention -- what the law calls mens rea-- and result. Kids behaving hurtfully towards others for the purpose of causing pain are bullies. Kids who just don't like being around another kid and therefore try hard to avoid that kid can cause pain to the excluded kid, but it's not bullying.
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My observation is that parents send a child with special needs here believing that if they child is just in a small environment that has an accepting culture, that it will work out and be ok.  Unfortunately, what they don't understand is that the small environment means a small group of NT kids who all are pretty much on par with one another and try to be accepting of each individual's personality traits.  This doesn't extend though to "quirks" that interrupt a child's ability to participate socially or academically. It's actually a worse environment for a child with something like very mild autism or Asperger's because the child will stand out even more in the small group setting of kids who are all at the same ability level and maturity.  [/quote]

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