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[quote=Anonymous]I am a single mom by choice. First, I want to say I totally respect the POV of the previous poster -- it IS stressful to raise a child/children by yourself. You DON'T get much time to yourself. My situation is a little bit different from hers because I don't have to deal with the continuous disappointment of an ex who isn't holding up his end of the deal. I went into motherhood knowing that it would all be on me, and I was okay with that. But there are definitely some challenging aspects along with all the love and all the joy.

With that said, I think it's important to realize that there's a biological deadline here that can't be ignored. OP, you are 34. Let's say you meet the right guy tomorrow. How long would you have to date until you know he's the right guy to have a child with? A year or two? And then how long might you want to be together enjoying yourself before you get down to child bearing? And this is all assuming you find the right guy, right away. What if it takes a year or two to find that guy?

Every year, you are starting to lose your fertility. It doesn't matter how much you exercise, how great you feel physically...that's just the reality. We see celebs having babies at age 40+, but they never talk about the donor eggs that it took to make that happen.

Now, I am not knocking donor eggs, or adoption. Or you might just be the lucky lady who gets pregnant easily at 40+ with your own eggs. But I'll be honest; I think about the fact that I likely won't have a long presence in the life of my grandchildren, and it makes me sad. (I'm 44, my child is 3, and I was HELLA lucky to have gone through IVF at age 40 that worked) This is all something to consider.

You also don't have to have kids! Having a child is not the pinnacle of life, and I'm speaking as someone who has one. So that's something to consider, too.

I don't want you to have to give up on any part of what you want. I just want you to make any decision completely clear-eyed, with a realistic notion of what it'll mean if you delay child-rearing to focus on dating. I would recommend "dating like a job" (as another poster put it) and also seriously investigating what it would mean for you to be a single mom - how you'd handle daycare costs, work, where your family support might come from, etc.

The very best of luck to you.[/quote]

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