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[quote=Anonymous]I was in a similar position at 34 (had a 'starter marriage' in my 20s, divorced by 28, a couple sort of relationships after that but nothing that was sticking or what I wanted).  I did the 'treat dating like a job thing' and feel like I dated the whole internet (and did even try that very stupid It's Just Lunch and a matchmaker - but found those guys felt like they were generally paying to find some sort of ideal).

Did end up getting engaged within a year and went on to have two kids (mine & husband's biologically but lots of fertility complications).

To add my two cents on some of the advice - 1) found some of the topic geared dating sites (the one I used is no longer up but had a literary bent to it) better than match.com. 2) i definitely had a dream of a 'mate' who was on paper a match in terms of career, earning potential etc.  But did find that focusing on compatibility/chemistry and someone who is fundamentally kind is much more important (ie. I did find someone who really does "get" me, for better or worse) & realized that it mattered more.  To be completely honest, the 'pool' of males who are unmarried by mid-30s and up has narrowed.  a number of my friends who got married in their mid 30s married someone younger, lower-earning, or was divorced with kids.  3) I am not sure if the egg freezing technology has advanced a lot (there's a lower chance that frozen eggs actually work, people have a misperception that they are 'insurance' - it may be worth talking  to a fertility doctor about it.  I did explore it a little at 34, and doc said it wasn't worth the odds of it working (and I had started looking into what it would take to have a kid on my own).  Keep in mind women's fertility varies tremendously - and there are lots of stories on DCUM -- and it's true that some women really do have no problem having babies in mid/late 30s, where others of us have been through the fire.

Anyway, I do not have the exact 'dream' life I had wanted at 34 - but ten years later, I have a strong marriage, two kids (but a lot of heartache and pain to get there), less income and attention to career/status/etc than I had wanted/expected, but overall exceptionally glad I have a husband I love and most of all that I did have kids - would not trade that for anything.[/quote]

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