Reply to In all seriousness: What qualifies as a sexless marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another DW that is really frustrated by her DH's laziness in bed. Before we were married, the sex was great. He was really eager to please. I did orgasm with him. I have a high drive as a woman and that was made clear. He appeared to have a high drive.

Then we got pregnant on our wedding night. No sex for duration of pregnancy and then until baby was 14 months. His request. Got pregnant on that one time 14 months later. No sex until that baby was 8 months. Then he told me I was unattractive because I had a little baby weight left. I was also a "nympho" and a "sex fiend" for wanting him to compromise on 1x a week during this time period. Lost the weight and went on vacation with him. Had sex 3 or 4 times that week. Got pregnant while on BC. Lost that baby and really realized I wanted one more. Was up to 1-2x a month until we got pregnant again. Then wasn't touched until I had that baby. Tubes tied. Lost the weight, but DH was not interested. Maintained 1x a week and thought I should be thankful he showed up for that. Didn't orgasm with him ever. Read some articles to get better in bed to maybe entice him to want to have sex more. Got super good at blow jobs. Now we have sex maybe 1-2x a week, maybe a blow job just pleasuring him on top of that. I still don't orgasm with him, and can barely get wet anymore. His idea of foreplay now is rubbing my general genital area a few times and nudging my head down. Then he feels me up while I do so. Still thinks he is doing me a favour by having this sex at all. No idea how to bring it up anymore. I am really resentful. This is a main part of a marital relationship to me. Feeling desired and wanted by your spouse is a big thing. My self esteem about this is really in the crapper.

I feel like I was completely lied to going into this marriage. I don't want to break up my family.  I love my children. We are good and caring to each other in other ways v(considerate of each other, doing chores, planning vacations together), and coparent well. I think he is a great dad, and I am thankful for our three boys,  but if I had known he would switch to this kind of sexual relationship I wouldn't have married him. So yeah, I would define our marriage as partially sexless. We may have it 1-2x a week, but he never ever considers bringing me to orgasm or trying to turn me on. I feel really unwanted.[/quote]

Sorry, PP here. The 1x a week is a typo for the first two times mentioned in the 2nd paragraph. It was wanting him to compromise 1x a month, then we stayed at 1x a month until we conceived again and now it is finally up to 1-2x a week. Sorry about that if anyone misunderstood.[/quote]

As a high drive husband, I just don't get this.  My enjoyment of sex with my wife is inseparable from her enjoyment.  I can make her cum very easily but even if it were more difficult (and there was a time when that was the case) I ENJOY the process of making her cum so much that I can't conceive of not doing it.  These stories about husbands who don't want to make the effort to please their wives just leave me shaking my head.   [/quote]

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