Reply to MIL problem -- wants to come see DS when I am not home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]HI All! I have an issue and I want to know how to handle it gracefully. I do not get a long with my MIL at all -- we are civil to each other and i see her often, but I really can't stand her. I don't think she likes me either, but we ACT like we get along when we are face to face. [b]I view her as intrusive, pushy, bossy, manipulative, lying, etc. I see her once a week for family time and that is about all I can stand.[/b] She gets to see DS once a week too -- sometimes more. She fawns over DS A LOT! ANyway, in the past she has been very nosy, intrusive, and tries to tell me and DH what to do and how to raise DS.

Me and DH both work full time out of the home and we have a nanny who is VERY nice. MIL is now asking if she can come over to our house to see DS during the week when only the nanny is there. Keep in mind MIL see DS EVERY weekend!! We make a HUGE effort to take DS to her house every Sunday. I am not comfortable with MIL coming to our home when we are not there. God only knows what she will say or do to our poor nanny. She has a history of bossing "the help" around -- whether it be a waiter, a cleaning person or a nanny, she is very demanding, etc. I am afraid she will bother the nanny, tell her what to do, ask her personal questions about me and DH and how we raise DS.

So, I do not want MIL there with my nanny and DS unless either my husband or I am there too. How do I gracefully and nicely tell MIL that she can't come over if we are not there??[/quote]

Whenever I read a post like this I always wonder how the evil IL would describe the OP. Like are they oblivious and think the OP is totally awesome or would is the feeling mutual and both the OP and the IL are miserable human beings that can't function as grown ups and get along.

As for this situation let her see her grandchild as much as she wants. Even better you aren't there to be offended by her. She'll likely die long before you or your DC and then you can pop some champagne, but at least your DC will have gotten time with his grandparent.

Bonus: If it becomes intrusive or upsetting to your nanny you can blame it all on the nanny and your MIL can't "hold it against you". Win/Win[/quote]

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