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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - Remember this is not about your life, but your daughter's life and how you respond to her right from the beginning may well be the demarcation line of your relationship with your daughter.  Your daughter is not a pregnant teen.  She has not only her undergraduate, but graduate degree and as you say is set to start teaching in the fall.  Unless she might be lined up at a very conservative, religious oriented school, I see no reason why there would be any reason why she would not start her job as planned and then take a maternity leave.

I would be as open and welcoming as possible to her boy friend.  Try and remember you are not going to discuss "the problem" with either your daughter or her boy friend, but to meet him.to listen to them and to learn about their plans.   **You mention that BF has a good job so even if he is a foreign national, he may well already have a Permanent Resident card due to his employment and so the idea of marriage as a means to have to stay in the US would be rather moot.    If it is possible for you to extend your stay so that you would meet and socialize with the BF on the weekend, but then also have some time to spend just with your daughter that would be great.  Just going out to a couple of sites in Chicago and sharing some meals one-on-one might do you a world of good to see that your daughter is the young woman you have raised.

The Christian values that you have raised your daughter with are going to be on prominent display in your words and actions.  Being the supportive and loving Mom you have been to your DD is the most important thing you can do.  See what "theri plans" are in terms of marrying now or later and perhaps how you might even help with the plans.  At their age it would make sense to marry in Chicago with their friends and in the future at a time you felt "appropriate" you might really enjoy planning a party celebrating their wedding and your first grandchild.....[/quote]

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