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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why would you want to stay there if she doesn't live there and it has been empty and dusty and gross for a while. She's probably ashamed and embarrassed about the state it's in. [/quote]

Because I want to help BIL clean it.   He has so far done a very poor job and it's been over a year and it is obvious he needs help getting it in order.  I am hoping that us staying there in December will give him an additional incentive to get it done and not just the probate deadline.  We have offered many times to help him clean but he always says he needs to "think" about it.

Anyway, you are all right.  I will let them sort it all out and spend the time in Phoenix going to the  Scottsdale fashion mall and going to the spa at our hotel.  Not much else to do in Phoenix in July and better than cleaning!
[/quote]

Do you have kids? I wouldn't want my kids in the mess and dust.

I think when you're face to face, you can gently suggest that this needs to happen and that you will help. But do it in a way that eases tensions and insecurities. Don't make them defensive.[/quote]m

We are currently in Phoenix at a hotel.  My kid can stay with friends during the day if BIL will let us clean.  My friend offered to help clean the house too.  The hotel stay in December is an obvious ruse - I thought if we appealed to their Dave Ramsey side, it would work.

Did not.  BIL turned us down.  Doesn't want the help.   Will be leaving Phoenix and getting back to perfect always 74 degree San Diego next week  :D [/quote]

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