Reply to Do I tell teen DD about my rape when I was a teen

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[quote=Anonymous]My 4 YEAR OLD knows "Uncle X did something bad to hurt grandma when she was a little girl, so he's not someone safe for us to be around."

The suggestion to tell a 16 year old basically the same thing is ridiculous IMO. At 16 she already knows what rape is and she is going to know roughly what happened even if you use that phrasing. As long as you don't give graphic details, she'll be fine.

I was, when I found out about what happened to my mom. And I was 12.

What happened to you was awful and wrong and I am so sorry for it, but just knowing the fact that it happened isn't going to shatter your DD. She may be a bit scared, but that's life and sheltering kids does them no favors.

Sixteen is nearly an adult. My twins were across the country at college at 17. A 16 year old can hear the basic fact that an awful thing happened and still be ok.

In fact, you opening up to her about this if you're ready may well be the thing that models that it's ok to talk to you about anything and there's no need for shame if something bad (God forbid) ever happened to your DD.

As long as you don't give details, I don't see how it can do significant harm to her. And at that age I wouldn't lie or make up any half-truths.[/quote]

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