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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Several years ago I had a very close friendship bordering on an EA. At that time I was the married one and he was single. We didn't talk about the attraction or our feelings for one another at that time but it was hard to miss. He decided to back off and find a girlfriend, which he did. I was hurt though I had no right to be, like you. I thought for a long time about what I could say that would express my sadness without making it seem like I was asking him to change course, since I understood that course was what was right for him. I found myself distancing myself without explanation and he became hurt by that. Ultimately we sat down and I told him that I wanted him to understand that although I was glad that he found the opportunity for a new relationship, my sadness and distance were because he had given me a part of himself and his time that he'd now taken back and given to someone else, and while I understood why that had to happen it still made me sad.  I also made it clear I'd need to take that part of myself back and gain some distance while I adjusted.

That conversation was relatively successful. I managed to get the concept across while making it clear that I wasn't asking for more and without saying flat out that I'd had a crush. The friendship survived with an understanding it was just a friendship and many months later he was the one to finally bring up the crush he had on me.

I guess I'm trying to say there is a way to express your sadness and sense of loss without making it seem like a come-on or threatening his marriage.[/quote]

Thanks for sharing!  Where are you guys now?  Still friends and all of this was a blip on the radar?  If you had to wager, does he still have any remnants of that crush?  Do you?[/quote]

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